the trees appear aflame in the hour of sundown

Today someone asked if I was considering foregoing the snow trip next weekend because of the money or because I was stressed over it. And I realized that it was both. I stress when I have no money, but I was also anxious over the prospect of losing precious alone time, something I've come to covet and savor and guard especially over the last few months. I need it. I've always known that, but having experienced it, having come to love quiet evenings at home with tea and a book or even just organizing around the house...I hesitate to make plans and I'm becoming less apt to accept them.

I'm eating better and I'm feeling so much more balanced. I'm excited about what the next few weeks hold. Now if I could just figure out how to get past this issue with my body thinking I have the time to sleep ten hours a day, I'd be golden.

adventure day

Originally posted December 29, 2008 at 10:42 p.m.

It's time to start a new one. Fresh and as-yet unspoiled by my frantic musings.
So here goes.

I'm still caught up in the heady experience of Yosemite-in-winter that occupied my day. I fall more in love with that place each time I visit. Maddie, Jillian and I drove up this morning to spend the day bumming around the Valley. Maddie and I have both been aching for the mountains lately, which warranted at least a day trip.

Living so close allows for a late start, which we had. I find it exceptionally easy to wake up if I have something exciting to do. Conversely, if I'm headed to work or class, getting up might as well be a lost cause better left to the more motivated and serious.

So much of the day was downright pleasant--the company, the new people (like the ones I met from Australia whilst waiting for the shuttle), the traipsing through calf deep snow among the powder-covered boulders just outside the boundaries of Camp 4.

I find myself utterly captivated by the prospect of someday climbing those big walls. I am astounded by the perspective that apprehends my consciousness when I consider how massive just those little Xs on the maps are when compared to my little reality. Imagining myself climbing like that unsettles my stomach and makes my heart pound. I have so far to go.