Wednesday, March 4, 2009
on growing up and gaining perspective
I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm nearly twenty-three (okay, eight months to go) and I'm a graduate student and I have a place to live and a community to be part of and I want to see the world. I want to know that it's okay to desire not to settle into what I perceive to be the expectations projected onto me.
I want to know that I can keep dreaming big in the way that everyone encourages you to when you're seven. When you're brimming with potential--you can be anything you want. I want to know that it's okay to believe that now.
I want to go on big adventures and learn about this place we inhabit. I want to share meals with new friends and to have the opportunity to visit old ones.
I feel like I'm running out of time, like I have to choose. I know I can be happy with what I've chosen, with where I've chosen, and that I can make this work. Rationally, I know that. I also know that I am STILL brimming with potential, that I am only twenty-two with no real responsibilities and all the time in the world to discover my world.
Is it possible to reconcile reality with the what-ifs and big dreams?